


To New Beginnings

by spacegirlstuff



Category: Supernatural
Genre: -Ish, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Charlie Bradbury, Castiel and Dean Winchester Being Idiots, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Drunk calls, Eventual Happy Ending, Feelings Realization, Heartbroken Castiel (Supernatural), Heartbroken Dean Winchester, M/M, Meeting Again, Post-Break Up, Protective Sam Winchester, Slow Burn, Time Skips, Winchester Coping Mechanisms (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28484019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegirlstuff/pseuds/spacegirlstuff
Summary: “My whole life I’ve seen you jumping from one person to another and now-”“You won’t get it,” Dean mumbles, Charlie’s hand covering his in a soothing gesture, her thumb stroking his knuckles.“Then make me, Dean!” Sam burst out like Dean had expected him to, “You can have anyone you like! So why are you so stuck over one person?”“Because I-” he chokes on his words, taking an unsteady breath before he is ready to speak, “Because even if I can have anyone, they are not him.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	1. 23rd July, 2020

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired from the song [Nobody Compares To You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk3di1I5n3k).  
>  **UPDATE: I originally posted this a few days ago and someone suggested that I should break the thing into chapters as per the timeline. I have not added or changed anything else.**

The bathroom door shuts softly, lock clicking seconds later trapping him in the small cubicle, the blinding yellow light of the overhead bulb a stark contrast against the soft lights on the other side of the wall. Dean can hardly hear the faint instrumental music and the chatter coming from the bar over the loud heartbeat in his ears, his rapid breaths echoing against the white wood as he loosened the tie, his other hand running through his hair.

The doorknob twists roughly, followed by loud knocks. “Dean, open up!” a female voice calls out, dean burying his head in his hands, trying to block out everything else. “It’s me, Charlie! Let me in!”

“Go away,” his words are muffled but loud enough for the woman to hear, “Leave me alone.”

“I’m not leaving you here,” Charlie says, “So open up soon. I’m waiting!”

He groans, rubbing his eyes once before he unlocks the door, the read head barging in with no hesitation as she locks it behind her enclosing the both of them inside. The tight space would have been uncomfortable with almost anyone else he knew, but it was Charlie.

“What happened? One second you were talking with that blonde and the next moment I see you storming into-” she pauses as her eyes finally land on Dean, taking in his disheveled appearance, she softly asks, “What happened, Dean?”

“Its nothing,” Dean tries to shrug it off, his words sounding unconvincing to his own ears,

“It’s not nothing,” Charlie’s hand comes up to fix his hair gently, Dean closing his eyes at the feeling as he breathes deeply.

“He’s here.” he finally whispers, “I know I should have expected to see him and after almost three years I thought that I was ready to face him but then…”

The redhead wraps her arms around him, Dean tucking his head into her shoulder as he lets himself be vulnerable in front of his best friend. After a shaky breath he continues, “But he walked in tonight and I just… I am right where I was three years ago, standing next to Sammy as he introduced him.”

“Hey,” Charlie strokes his back, “I know it’s fucking hard, but it’s just a few more hours.”

“It was not supposed to be this hard!” he complains, “It took me over two years to reset my life after everything but just one look at him and I’m back and it… it’s not fair!”

“I know dean,” she loosens her hold around his shoulders only for him to tighten his.

“I can’t go back there and face him, Charlie.” Dean admits, “I can’t go out and act as if everything is fine when…”

“You have to, Dean.” fingers stroke his hair, her words steady as she says, “I know you can.”

“I don’t want to though.” Dean knows that he is acting like a child but he doesn’t care, all his self-esteem had already been flushed down the drain the second he had ducked behind the pillar when he noticed a certain shade of blue eyes scanning around the room, “I wanna go back home.”

“If you want to cop out, then I’m sure that Sam will understand, but you would hate yourself forever if you ditch your brother’s engagement party.”

He knows that she has a point and there was absolutely no way in hell that he was going to leave early tonight, even if it meant facing a certain person whom he wished he never had met. Dean hated the way his mind was moving towards, the memories from a summer night flashing across his eyelids each time he blinked, a bright smile, a loud laugh, and blue eyes haunting him. A warm feeling erupts in his gut, an inside joke in his head and an overflowing heart in his chest.

He zones back, trying to listen to what the woman is saying, “-and I know that you liked him but-”

“I loved-” he cuts her off, the declaration shocking both of them. Dean had always known that his feelings for the other man ran deeper than just liking, but he had never said the words out loud. Pulling back from the embrace, he stares at Charlie, his eyes wide as the words tumble out of his lips, both loving and hating the way they sound, “I loved him.”

Charlie says nothing, her fingers coming to his face to wipe off a stray tear on his face, Dean flushing embarrassed when he realized that he was crying. “How about I come over to your room tonight with that new bottle of scotch that recently I bought and then you can tell me everything about him?”

He nods, finally remembering that he never exactly told the redhead about his little three-month summer connection that had made him change states. “That sounds like a good idea,”

She smiles, “I’m full of good ideas.”

Dean chuckles, mentally thanking each and every god listening for this woman, “No, you’re not.”

“You’re right.” Charlie agrees, “I’m definitely not.” 

He lets the silence settle over them, footsteps echoing outside their stall as someone walks past making him remember where they both were. Turning towards the redhead, he carefully says, “You do realize that we both have been locked together in the men’s toilet for the last fifteen minutes and I don’t exactly look that put together, right?”

Charlie gapes at him, her mouth opening and then closing before she almost shouts, “Dude, I’m gay!”

The man’s eyes widen at the redheads’ words before he laughs loudly, his voice echoing through the bathroom as someone shouts at them to tone it down, which just makes him laugh louder. “We should get out of here before someone we know finds us,” Dean tells her.

Charlie rolled her eyes, standing on her tiptoes to fix his hair without a word, an amused smile on her face. “I won’t be able to fix the state of your suit though,” she says, leans back to inspect her work, before stepping forward again to tug his hair slightly, making him wince. Finally satisfied with her assault on his hair, she tightens his tie, arranging his collar properly before she scans him, a grin on her face as she declares him ready.

“Thanks,” Dean rubs his face, almost running his fingers through his hair before the woman slaps his hand away. Loosening his tie slightly, he opens the door, stepping out, the redhead following him.

Ignoring the man staring at them as they walk out, he glances at the woman, “I love you.”

“I know,” Charlie replies almost instantly, a small smile creeping on Dean’s face at the response. 

When they finally reach the door that would lead them into the hall, Charlie grabs his wrist, stopping him from entering. “If you feel that you need to leave then come to me and we’ll be gone before you know it. Don’t just run out without a single word to anyone. Okay?”

“Okay,” he answers, eyes still fixed on the door as he feels the nerves come back.

“Good!” Charlie declares, her tone too cheery for Dean, “Now let me introduce you to one of the seven girls that have been eyeing you for the past two hours, and then I want you to just enjoy your time.”

“I’ll try.” Dean takes a deep breath, wiping his hands on his trousers before he pushes the door.

Twelve steps into the room and Sam is right next to him, his forehead creasing with worry, an apologetic look in his eyes, “I’m so sorry, Dean.” his brother says, “I know I should have warned you that I had invited him but-”

“Hey, It’s not your fault.” the older Winchester turns to look at his brother, a reassuring smile on his face, “Don’t worry about me.”

“You can leave early if you want,” Sam whispers, looking down.

“There’s no way I’m leaving tonight before I taste that delicious pie that you have for dessert.” 

The younger brother rolls his eyes, “I really am-”

“If you say the word ‘sorry’ then so help me I will kick your ass _right here_ in the middle of your _engagement_ party right in front of Eileen.” Dean cuts him off.

“Alright!” Sam sighs, shaking his head, “Will you be fine?”

“Another glass of that fancy thing you have them serving and I’ll be as good as new!” Charlie chuckles at Dean’s words. Turning towards Sam, she adds, “You don’t need to worry, Sam. I’m gonna keep an eye on this old man to make sure that he doesn’t go around causing any trouble.”

“You are awesome!” the taller man says.

“I have been told just as much.” the redhead smiles before shooting him away.

“I should have never introduced both of you,” Dean grumbles under his breath, letting Charlie lead him towards some random girl.

“This is Alice,” Charlie gestures towards the girl, Dean trying his best to concentrate on her before his mind zones out, eyes wandering towards the bar where a man sits, long fingers wrapped around a glass as he engages in a conversation with a blonde woman.

He stares at the man, gaze traveling over his body as he ignores the redhead nudging him from his side. No matter how much Dean tried, he had never been able to forget the feeling of the muscles as they moved under his fingers, warm weight on top of him, pinning him down into the sheets until the small hours of the night. Dean still remembers the strong musky scent surrounding him as he wakes up, light streaming through the blinds and falling on his bare skin as he places the lightest kisses across the man’s exposed neck. He hates how he can still feel himself drowning in all the sensations the other man made him feel, eyes fluttering shut as he lets his control go, letting the gentle currents of the wind lead him away, sure but soft hands coaxing every last feeling out of him until he is left sprawled out naked and defenseless. 

The man’s eyes leave the woman as he leans over the crowd of people, blue eyes moving around the room until they land on him.

The name finds its way to his lips, a million emotions following it as he stares back at the man, more than a hundred bodies separating them but closer than they had been in the last three years.

 _You can have anyone you like!_ He remembers his brother’s words from an eternity ago, _So why are you so stuck over one person?_

Dean hates the way even after all this time his answer is the same, _Because even if I can have anyone, they are not him, I can never forget what I had with him._

 _Why?_ Charlie had asked.

At that time, the question had rendered him speechless, but now, all these years later as he saw the guilty look in the blue eyes that were still locked with his green ones, he finally knew. 

“ _Because I’m still in love with Castiel_.”

**_~*~_ **


	2. 7th September, 2017

He heard the front door slam shut, keys jingling as they are dropped on the kitchen table, the sound of heavy footsteps approaching his room making him sigh. The door to his room opens just as he groans into his pillow, turning towards the wall so that the man can’t see his face, he mumbles, “Can’t we talk about this later?”

“No, Dean.” Sam answers standing at the foot of his bed, “I need some answers from you and I need them now.”

“It’s too early for this, Sam.”

“It’s after 1pm on a weekday!” his brother answers, pausing to control his temper before he asks, “Were you going to tell me that you decided to move back to Kansas, or was I supposed to find it out through-”

“You went through my mail?” Dean exclaims, almost getting dizzy as he sits up a bit too fast.

“You forgot to log out of my laptop.” the younger Winchester informs him, “But that’s not the point! The point is that I find out that my brother decided to move more than a thousand miles away without telling me anything!”

“I was going to tell you this weekend after I finalized the house,” he replies, mentally preparing himself for the dreadful conversation that he knew was coming.

“Why did you not talk to me?” Sam asks, sitting on the bed as he takes in Deans’ swollen eyes.

“Because I knew that if I told you what I wanted, then you would try to stop me and-”

“I would never stop you from anything you want, Dean,” he cuts his older brother off.

“That’s not what I meant, Sammy,” he tells him, eyes still avoiding the hazel ones.

“Okay, I admit I would have tried to convince you to stay but if you really want to move then that is fine with me,” Sam sighs, “I just don’t understand why you-” he pauses as the realization hits him, “It’s because of Ca- It’s because of _him_ , right?”

Dean flinches at the question, his chest constricting on himself as he nods slowly, eyes focused on the blanket as he picks a loose thread, “Yeah, but i-”

His sentence is cut short as the front door opens again, his eyebrows furrowing before he recognized the familiar footsteps on the wooden floor. He sees a head peeking through the gap in his door before the woman enters his bedroom, flinging herself on the mattress without a single word to him, she glances at his brother, “So I guess you found out about Lebanon too.”

“You knew?” Sam asks her, Dean wanting to bury himself alive when he hears the hint of disappointment in his voice.

“Not until last night when this guy called me at 4 in the morning drunk out of his mind as he finally told me about _the guy_. Like I don’t even know his name or-”

“I called you?” Dean tries to dig up what he might have said, but he comes up empty-handed, his brain having no recollection about the events of last night. Pausing, he then carefully questions, “What all did I tell you?”

“Nothing much,” Charlie answers, “Just bits and pieces.”

“Then how do you know about me moving away?”

“You said something along the lines of how you just had to wait a few more days before you moved to Lebanon for ‘ _a new start’_. I tried to ask you what you meant by that but you passed out and well, here I am.”

“A few more _days_?” Sam exclaims, turning towards his brother, he asks, “When are you leaving?”

“This Thursday.” Dean replies, his eyes finally meeting his younger brothers, “I’m going to drive so I will probably reach by Monday, add a few days if I decide to stop somewhere.”

“So you were about to give me three, maybe four days to process that you were leaving me before you were off.” The younger Winchester runs his hands through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I’m sorry, Sammy,” Dean pulls the covers closer to him, his head starting to pound inside his skull, the hangover from this morning still present.

The younger man chuckles, “My whole life I’ve seen you jumping from one person to another and now-”

“You won’t get it,” Dean mumbles, Charlie’s hand covering his in a soothing gesture, her thumb stroking his knuckles.

“Then make me, Dean!” Sam burst out like Dean had expected him to, “You can have anyone you like! So why are you so stuck over one person?”

“Because I-” he chokes on his words, taking an unsteady breath before he is ready to speak, “Because even if I can have anyone, _they are not him_ ,” Dean hates how true the words are. He hates the way he still can’t get over a stupid _mistake_ . But most of all, he hates the way his _whole being_ still _craves_ for a certain man who walked out of his life almost a month ago, “And I can never forget what I had with him.”

Everyone falls silent. The woman’s hand stills upon his, her words tentative as she finally speaks, “Why?”

Dean turns away from the two questioning eyes, his gaze settling upon his bedside table, the silver chain with the angel wings pendant laying on top of the brown wood. He tries to come up with a reasonable answer, his heart ripping itself apart when he pushes down the unnamed feelings until he is numb, “I don’t know.”

Sam just nods in response, a few minutes passing before he declares, “I’m taking the next week off to help you pack.”

The older brother looks up when he hears the statement, his eyes wide, “You don’t need to.”

“I want to.” he gets up from the bed, wiping his eyes discreetly as he walks out the room, calling over his shoulder, “Plus, you have no idea how to pack.”

“I do, bitch!” Dean shouts at him, a small smile creeping up his face.

“Jerk,” Sam replies, fondness evident in his voice.

“So,” Charlie starts, “Do you want me to come with you?”

The man narrows his eyes at her, “You are joking, right?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs, “ I mean, I don’t have anything important here anyway and leaving L.A would probably do me some good too. Maybe I’ll like it there and then…”

Cheering loudly, he tackles the redhead into a hug, making sure not to put too much of his weight on the poor girl, Dean looks at her, “You are the best!”

“I know!” Charlie laughs, trying to push him off, “Now let me go before I start kicking!”

“You won’t dare,” he responds as he rolls away, settling next to her as they both stare at the ceiling.

“So Dean,” the woman hesitates, “Will you tell me his name?”

Closing his eyes, he swallows softly before a single word tumbles out of his mouth.

“ _Castiel_.”

_**~*~** _


	3. 12th November, 2020

Dean takes another sip from the bottle, not wincing as the amber liquid slithers down his throat, his brain foggy and thoughts jumbled as he lays naked on his bed after another unsuccessful replacement to the person he really wants. Bored with staring at the stupid painting handing on the opposite wall, he closes his eyes, regretting it instantly when he sees a familiar face, blue eyes as clear as ever as they stare at him, stripping him of all his defenses.

His hands wildly search the bedside table, knocking off something in the process as they clasp around the mobile. He turns it on, squinting at the brightness as he tries to unlock it, cursing loudly at his hazy vision before he finally gets the pin right. Three tries and a dozen more swear words later, he finally stares at the number pad, hardly thinking before he types a number seared into his brain, unable to forget the string of ten digits even after more than three years.

He hesitates slightly, hand hovering over the green button before he taps it, liquid courage flowing through his veins as he places the call on speaker, a million different scenarios passing through his brain, the monotonous ringing filling up his room along with his loud breaths.

_First ring._

Dean had no idea what he was going to say.

_Second ring._

Did the man even want to hear his voice?

_Third ring._

Would he cut the call as soon as he heard Dean speak? 

_Fourth ring._

Did he even remember Dean?

_Fifth ring._

Was he even going to pick up the call?

_Sixth ring._

Was his number still the same?

_Seven-_

“Hello” a groggy voice comes through the speaker, Dean’s ribs tightening around his lungs as the man continues,, “It’s three in the morning, Meg.”

His heart stops beating as the words finally get into his brain, his fingers shaking as they hastily tap the screen ending the call.

“Shit,” he says into the cold room. _So he is with someone named Meg_. 

_Did you really expect him to still be hung up over you?_ the voice in his head tells him, _He probably doesn’t even remember you, much less care about-_

His phone vibrates in his hand, making him look down at it, recognizing the digits on the screen even with the tears blurring his eyesight. He ignores the call, hoping that the man would just think that it was a wrong number and give up. The call ends, Dean holding his breath for a few moments before it starts ringing again.

His brain asks him to just let it go while his heart urges him to pick it up just one more time, if only to hear the deep voice one more time. He hates himself as his thumb swipes across the screen, accepting the call. 

“Hey,” Dean says, lips wrapping around the glass bottle as he takes a long sip.

“Who is-” The man on the other side of the phone sounds confused before he pauses, a few seconds passing before he asks, “Dean?”

He closes his eyes, hating the way he still loves the way his name sounds on the man’s lips. “Hey, Cas.”

No sound comes from the other side of the phone for a long time, making Dean think that the man ended the call before the rustling of sheets is heard. “Fuck, I… How are you, Dean?”

 _I’m not good_. He thinks. “I’m fine.” he says, “What about you?”

“A bit sleepy, but otherwise I think I’m okay.” Castiel replies, a muffled yawn coming through the speaker before he admits, “I honestly have no idea what to say to you.”

“Nor do I,” Dean replies, I just… I’m sorry I have no idea what came over me that called you in the middle of the night and I guess you want to go back to sleep and well… I think I should hang up so that-”

“Please don’t hang up!” the man’s voice comes through the speaker cutting him off, “I don’t care that it’s the middle of the night and whatever. I just want to talk to you.”

He chuckles at the statement, taking another sip from the almost empty bottle, “I want to talk to you too. I’ve wanted to for a long time now.”

“Then why did you wait all this time before calling me?”

“Because you don’t need me the way I need you. You already have Meg.” Dean tries to keep his tone neutral as he says the name.

“How do you-” Castiel stops, “Meg is my best friend, not my girlfriend.”

“Oh,” he trails off, “I thought that-”

“I haven’t been with anyone for the last three years.” his voice is steady. “Not since that summer.”

Dean closes his eyes, whispering, “Don’t do this, Cas.”

“Don’t do what, Dean?” the question bounces off the bare walls of his room, burrowing his face into his pillow as his free hand clutches the pendant hanging against his throat.

“Don’t say things like that.” the tears in his eyes fall down his cheeks, “Don’t give me hope that you feel the same way. Don’t-” his voice cracks, “Don’t break me again.”

“Dean I-”

“I literally uprooted my whole life because of you!” He cuts Castiel off, having no control over himself as the words finally flow out of him, all the emotions he had suppressed for the last years bursting out, “I tried to escape you, starting over somewhere far away from you but you still haunt me. Each time I think I have finally moved on, something happens that makes me remember you.”

“Dean, you are drunk,” Castiel realizes.

“I wouldn’t have called you if I wasn’t,” Dean tells him, “I won’t be here on the phone at five in the morning giving you another chance to ruin me just because that’s the only way I will be able to feel complete even if it’s only for a few minutes. And I definitely won’t be telling you that I’m in love with you if I was not-”

“You won’t remember any of this tomorrow morning-”

“I’m hoping that I don’t,” he admits.

“But if you do,” Castiel ignored his comment, “I want you to call me when you are completely sober.”

“Why?” Dean asks, “So that you can remind me of how fucking miserable I am?”

“Because I am still in love with you too.” if the man hears his sharp intakes of breath, he doesn’t show, “And there are a million other things I want to say to you but I won’t right now because you are drunk. So will you call me later when you are sober?”

“Yeah,” he answers breathlessly, his hands clammy as they hold the phone tighter, arms wrapping around his spare pillow wishing it was the man’s warm body instead, “Please call me if I don’t, though.”

“I will,” Castiel responds, “Now will you stop drinking for me?”

Dean stares at the bottom of his bottle, hardly a few sips left. With a sigh, he picks up the cap from his bead, screwing it shut, he drops it on the floor next to his bed, “Done.”

“Good,” the man tells him, “Do you think you will be able to sleep now?”

“Yeah,” he replies, drawing the covers over him, “But I wish you were here.”

“Me too,” Castiel says, and if anyone ever asks, Dean would deny the blush that crawls on his cheeks at that statement.

“Will you stay on the phone with me?” his voice is hesitant as he quickly adds, “I mean it’s fine if you don’t want to and I know that you have work tomorrow morning and i-”

“I would love to,” 

**_~*~_ **


	4. 14th December, 2020

Castiel sits on the edge of the cliff, cold wind rushing into his hair, legs dangling off the drop as he places his phone against his ear, empty beer bottles surrounding him as he looks over the city. He has no idea why he is still trying to reach the man when all his calls have gone straight to voicemail for the past month.

“Hey! It’s me. You know what to do.” 

_Beep_

Castiel groans, almost ending the call before he hesitates, “Hello, Dean.” he starts, “I have been trying to catch you for the past month but I guess you don’t want to talk anymore.” shuffling around to find a comfortable position, he knocks a bottle down, “I don’t think that you remember our conversation from that night but I… I was expecting you to call me back when you were sober and when you didn’t… I guess I never considered the possibility of you ignoring my calls as well… I just want you to know that I still... I miss you every day and I still dream about being with you every night. I don’t know if you will call me back after hearing this or if you will even hear this and…” Castiel pauses, “I’m sitting on the edge of that cliff that you took me to on our first date. I still remember the way you laughed when I tripped on that rock and I still remember the feel of your lips against mine and… I-”

A small noise comes from the phone signaling the end of the message, cutting him off moments before he can-

“ _I love you so much_ ,” he says into the night, frustration seeping into his bones as he hurls his phone across the rocky ground, regretting it moments later when his brain catches up with his actions, the sound of plastic crashing into the ground loud in the silent night.

“ _No!”_ he shouts, unsteady on his feet as he gets up, walking towards the direction he threw his phone as he tries to locate it in the moonlight.

Minutes pass before he finally finds the broken device, hitting it against his palm as he tries to switch it on, a steady stream of curses escaping his lips as the cracked screen refuses to light up.

“What did you do, Castiel?” he asks no one in particular, his voice breaking as he sobs out, “You don’t even have his number or any other way to contact him and…”

The man crumbled to the floor, resting his head against the gravel as he wraps his arms around his body, trying to stop himself from falling apart, three words escaping from his lips, repeating itself like a prayer.

“ _I’m sorry, Dean_.”

**_~*~_ **


	5. 31st December, 2020

Dean stands in the middle of the crowd, getting on his tiptoes to scan all the faces surrounding him, trying to spot a mop of dark brown hair in the field. A kid bumps into him, making him stumble slightly before he feels fingers wrapped around his arm, steadying him before he pushes anyone else. He looks at the redhead next to him, a thankful grin on his face before returning to the crowd.

“Can you see him?” Charlie asks, shouting over the chatter of people as she clings to him.

“No,” Dean responds, regretting not taking that one drink before he left the hotel, trying not to lose hope. 

She lightly pats his arm, gesturing towards the end of the park with her head, “We can head up to the top of the hill if you want. It would have a much better view and there are a lot less people there.”

“Yeah,” he rubs his hands before putting them into his jacket, “Let’s go there. We can at least enjoy the fireworks even if we don’t find him.”

“We will find him, Dean.” The redhead nudges him softly, “If not here, then I’ll personally blackmail Sam into giving up his address.”

“You do know that he’s going to kill both of us and then Eileen when he finds out that I am still trying to-”

“If you think that Eileen can’t handle your brother then you are sorely mistaken.” Charlie cuts him off, carefully maneuvering him away from walking directly into a pole when she realizes that the man is not watching where he is going, too busy trying to locate a certain someone.

“But what if he decided not to come here?” Dean speaks before his brain can stop him, “I mean, he probably has a million friends and he could have changed his mind-”

“Eileen clearly said that he would be here tonight. He has never once missed the fireworks at midnight ever since he first moved here.” the woman stops, turning around to stare at him, “And if he did change his mind, then we are going to go back to the hotel and then I’m going to work my magic and dig up everything last thing about him and then I’ll drive you to his house where you both are going to talk even if its four in the morning. Capiche?”

Dean gulps, unsure whether to be proud or scared as he answers, “Capiche.”

“Good,” she nods, her eyes focused on something over her shoulder, “But I don’t think I will need to hack into anything. At least not tonight.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to understand her words before he turns around hastily, heart stopping as his wide eyes lock with baby blue ones, mouth opening and then closing, unable to form any words.

Before he realizes it, he’s running towards the slightly shorter man, launching himself at him without a second thought. Castiel stumbles back slightly, hardly hesitating before putting his arms around Dean, fingers clutching the green jacket on his back as he buries his head into the crook of his neck, inhaling the musky scent as his eyes start to prickle.

“ _Cas_ ,” Dean breaths out, tightening his grip on the lean man’s body, the tan trench coat bunching under his hands.

“ _Hello Dean._ ” the blue-eyed man whispers back, his lips dragging against the other man’s neck.

Dean doesn’t know how long they stand there like that, wrapped in each other in the middle of the park, and honestly, he doesn’t care. All he cares about is the warm figure pressed against him and the million words about to fall out of his mouth. When they finally step back just enough to look each other in the eye, everything else fading away when the green meets blue, Dean’s head leaning into the rough palms caressing his jaws as a thumb slowly moves against his cheek.

“You are an idiot,” Dean breaks the silence between them, his voice low but still audible over everyone else.

Castiel tilts his head slightly in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing slightly, “Why?”

“You don’t just leave a voice message at fucking four-o’clock in the morning mentioning how you are sitting on the edge of a cliff drunk out of your mind and then completely _disappear_ off the face of the earth!” the taller man exclaims, “Have you got any idea how fucking worried I was when I called you the next day and you didn’t pick up!”

“I don’t remember much, but when I woke up the next morning, I was lying in the middle of the ground with a broken phone in my hand.” Castiel stares down, embarrassed, “I think I might have dropped it and I… I had no way of contacting you and I didn’t ask Sam for your number because we both know that he would skin me alive if he found out that I want to talk to you.” he pauses before looking back up at him, “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to worry-”

“Hey Cas, stop.” Dean places a finger against his pale lips before cupping his face, “It’s fine. I was just scared that something might have happened to you or that you had…” he trails off, “I could hardly function for the next four days until I finally asked Sam about you. That idiot refused to give me any information about you. He believes that everything that happened is his fault because he was the one who introduced us. Thank god for Eileen who then later called me and told me that if I wanted to talk to you, then I should come here tonight.”

Castile nods, taking in the information before he drops his hand from Deans face, the other man’s shoulders tensing before he feels fingers clenching around the collar of his jacket, pulling him forward until there is hardly any space left between their faces, the barest brush of dry lips against his as the shorter man speaks, his blue eyes scanning his face for any hint of uncertainty, “I know that I don’t deserve you and I never really did but can I… Can I please kiss you?”

Dean doesn’t answer the question, instead closing the gap between them without wasting another second, eyes closing instinctively as his lips mold themselves against Castiel's, a soft motion that makes all his nerves come alive, brain short-circuiting when he feels the man stepping closer to him, hands pulling him even closer until they almost meld into one.

He can distinctly feel the cold December air against his skin and hear the sound of firecrackers as they burst in the sky but he doesn’t let go of the other man, letting himself drown in the so familiar but yet so foreign emotions that coarse over his body, his heart bursting in his chest effectively concealing the burn in his lungs.

When they finally part, panting heavily before Castiel dives back in to press short kisses against his lips, Dean trying his best to respond to each and every single one of them, the need for oxygen long forgotten between the sweet peck and soft nips.

“Come back with me.” The shorter man says against his lips.

“Yeah,” Dean breaths, “Take me home.”

Castiel hums, almost pressing their mouth together before thinking better of it, the need to say something overweighting the urge to kiss the other man. He likes his lips, confusion evident on the other man’s face before he locks their eyes, “ _I love you, Dean Winchester_. I already said the words before, but you were too drunk to remember and I just want you to know that I do. You don’t need to-”

“ _love you too you Cas_ ,” Dean whispers back before slotting their mouths together, drowning in each other as the stars explode around them.

**_~*~_ **


	6. 1st January, 2021

Castiel groans slightly, turning to face the other side when he feels streams of sunlight on his face. He burrows his head deeper into his pillow. A soft sigh comes from next to him as an arm tightens around him, a head tucking itself under his chin, tips of hair tickling the underside of his jaw as he pulls the warm body-

His eyes snap open, his brain finally catching up with his body as he blinks a few times, gaze falling on the man sleeping next to him, his face pressed against his chest and arms wound around his waist in a death grip. Castiel loosens his hold on the man’s waist, hands coming to cradle his face, small tentative touches scattering across the skin as he tries to memorize each and everything from the constellation of freckles to the small scar at the corner of his left eye. 

A small smile stretches against his lips when he remembers last night, stumbling through the front lawn as charlie drives off, almost tripping on the stairs because neither of them wanted to spend too long without touching the other, only separating for a minute when Castiel pushed him into the bathroom with sweatpants and an old t-shirt asking him to change before coming to bed, absolutely not surprised when Dean had sauntered back into the room shirtless with the sweatpants hanging a bit too low on his hips for Castiel’s sanity. 

He had wrestled the man into the bed, lips finding Deans swollen once as hands move across the expanses of skin, cataloging the way solid muscled moved under his fingers, clenching the broad shoulders when he felt himself slipping away, the unsaid agreement to take things slow passing between them as they came down from their highs.

Dean had then settled himself right next to Castiel, the cold and empty space on his bed finally getting occupied after what felt like an eternity as they both quietly talked into the smaller hours of the night, sneaking in occasional kisses in between as they conversed, fitting next to each other like to puzzle pieces, finally _complete_ , finally _happy_.

Dean stirred slightly, Castiel’s eyes fixed on his face, unblinking as he commits each and every second to memory, green eyes fluttering open as they meet his, soft smile tugging on his lips mirroring Castiel’s.

“Good morning, Dean,” he says, running his hands down the man’s naked chest before finally coming to rest on his hips, tracing a nonsensical pattern on the warm skin.

“Morning, Angel.” Dean rises slightly, climbing on the other man’s chest, their lips meeting for a brief kiss before his head falls back on the man’s shoulder, a smile on Castiel’s face when he hears the old nickname.

“I would have gotten up to make you some coffee, but you just didn’t want to let me go and I honestly didn’t feel like leaving you too.” 

“That’s fine,” Dean places his chin on the man’s chest, eyes soft and filled with love, “I got to wake up with you next to me on the first day of the year, coffee is the last thing I care about right now.”

“Dean Winchester,” His voice is teasing, “Did you just admit that I am more important than coffee?”

“No, I didn’t!” the green-eyed man chuckles, “Anyway, did you finally learn how to cook or breakfast is on me?”

“I did learn how to cook but…I miss your cooking.” Castiel tries to pull off his best puppy eyes, “I think I have all the ingredients for pancakes though. I might even have bacon.”

Dean laughs, placing a kiss over Castiel’s heart before he pushes himself off the man, “Pancakes and bacon it is then.”

Castiel lets himself be pulled off the bed, letting the other man lead him towards the kitchen. As soon as they reach the kitchen, he immediately busies himself with the coffeemaker, eyes moving to Deans who pads around bare feet, the domesticity making his stomach flip and heart race. He makes his way behind the man, Dean jumping slightly when he feels arms wrapping around his stomach before he leans back into Castiel’s solid body, humming happily as the warm body relaxes against his. 

“I never want to let you go,” Castiel mumbles against his ear, “I just want to stay here like this forever.”

“Me too, Cas.” Dean rests his hands on top of the mans’.

After a few moments, Castiel presses a kiss on the other man’s neck, dean tilting his head to the side automatically as goosebumps appear on the back of his neck. “I love you so much.”

Dean turns his head towards him, “I love you too.”

Castiel ducks in to capture his lover’s lips, both of them ignoring the vibrating phone on the table, everything else forgotten as they melt into each other.

The world could wait because, after all, _their story had only just begun_.

**Author's Note:**

> I had planned to post this yesterday but I had a headache so I had to shift the posting date to today because I didn't get a chance to edit it properly :(  
> Anyways, here's a small New Year's gift from lil not-that-old me to you all!  
> I hope you enjoyed it!!!


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